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Aunt Mabel Can Use This as Documented Proof
Article Text Below, Feel free to copy and make changes to the story you submit to us.
X-Ray shows bolt embedded in skull.
Headache Sufferer Diagnosed
Yourtown---- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.)
A Port Ludlow man may have finally found the source of migraine headaches he has suffered for over twenty five years.
Casey Jones, a retired minister, sought the help of doctors dozens of times over the years, but none could alleviate his chronic headaches.
"They put me on this drug, then that drug," Jones said. "I think all the drugs over the years have caused me more discomfort than the headaches."
Finally, in August of 2000, Mr. Jones was being treated for an unrelated ailment when his doctor ordered a series of head x-rays.
"When we put up the first film," said Jones's physician, Dr. Bill Campbell, "we all just sort of stood back and no one said anything. Then someone chuckled, because we assumed the x-ray technician was having some fun with us."
"The doctor came in and was kind of laughing, and he said I had to do the x-rays again," said Jones. "So I figured 'what the heck', and I went in and did them all over again."
"When the second series showed the same results, we stopped laughing," said Dr. Campbell. "But no one could think of anything to say, either. We just stared at the films, and no one knew what to do next, or how to advise the patient."
Several more series were taken over the next weeks by two different labs, and all the results were the same: Casey Jones had a bolt in his head.
"They questioned me at length," said Jones, "trying to figure out how the bolt might have gotten there. They found a small scar behind my right ear, and we figured that's where the bolt entered. I was in an industrial accident many years ago, and I did have a cut behind my ear there," Mr. Jones continued, "and it was sore for a long time, but I never suspected this."
Doctors believe Jones's bizarre condition is not life threatening, and they are exploring ways to alleviate the headaches the bolt seems to cause.
Casey's wife, Hazel, saw the humor in the situation, however, when she commented, "Now I know he's got a screw loose!"
See 'Strange But True' Page D-5
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Whole Size is a two-sheet, eight-page WHOLE newspaper WITH HEADLINE
Poster Size is HUGE, printed on stiffer poster stock; one page WITH HEADLINE
Small Size is SMALL -- roughly a 6 x 9 inch "Pocket Clipping" with NO HEADLINE
Tabloid is tabloid sized, smaller than the Enquirer; one sheet, two pages each WITH HEADLINE
Full size is one full page, NOT one full SHEET; it's an INSIDE half-sheet page with NO HEADLINE