Fake Joke Newspaper Article "ORGAN HARVESTERS" STRIKE AGAIN

Fake/Joke Newspaper Article "ORGAN HARVESTERS" STRIKE AGAIN

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  • Product Description

     Organ Harvesters in a Theater Near YOU

    c-76.jpg

     

    Organ Harvesters.
    We've all heard the rumors.
    Are they real or not?
    Who cares.
    Leave a few of these around the neighborhood, at the laundromat,
    on the bulletin board of the local Mom and Pop, in the lobbies
    of hotels, motels, in 7-11s, send one to your Mother-in-Law.
    Order lots of copies. Then sit back and watch the fun.

     

    You tell us the neighborhood; we'll do the rest.

    (We offer another version of this in which the victim has a bandage over his face, and we feature you, or the person of your choice, as the "harvestee" with the photo you supply inset as usual. Great fun.)

     

     

     

    Article Text Below, Feel free to copy and make changes to the story you submit to us. 

     Doctors keep vigil over local man 

    "Organ Harvesters" Strike Again

    Seventh Case in as Many Months

    Yourtown---- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.)

    A local man hovers between life and death after being assaulted by "organ harvesters"--- the seventh incident in nearly as many months, in four states.

    Ho Sing, a 34 year old warehouse worker, was found in his own bed in critical condition Thursday morning when he failed to report for work. His eyes and one kidney had been crudely removed.

    "The (thieves) took the organs in a rough and hasty procedure," said ER surgeon Dr. Donald Walker. "They made a half hearted attempt at closing (the incisions of) Mr. Sing after the, uh, operation, but it appeared as though they didn't really care if he lived or died."

    "There have been a lot of rumors flying around-'local legend' kinds of things," admitted Sgt. Adam Laskey with the Pierce Co. Sheriff's office. But we've only documented the three cases locally. We're hoping this isn't the beginning of a trend."

    It's believed that several foreign factions are responsible for the organ thefts. "These groups generally anesthetize an entire household by pumping various gases into a structure after a family is asleep," continued Sgt. Laskey. "It's silent and effective. Then they're free to enter the home at will, knock the victim out with an injection, and remove whatever organs they feel they can sell to desperate recipients. Often they botch the removal and the organ is wasted, and often they can't find a recipient with matching tissue types, and the organ is wasted. There is no crime more dumb than this."

    Three fatalities are associated with this bizarre crime; four more victims languish with near mortal injuries.

    See Need for Organ Donors on Rise Page D-5

     

     

    To create your own story from scratch,
    using your own main image, please
    click www.fakenewspaper.com instead of using this form.
     

     

    Whole Size is a two-sheet, eight-page WHOLE newspaper WITH HEADLINE
    Poster Size is HUGE, printed on stiffer poster stock; one page WITH HEADLINE
    Small Size is SMALL -- roughly a 6 x 9 inch "Pocket Clipping" with NO HEADLINE 
    Tabloid is tabloid sized, smaller than the Enquirer; one sheet, two pages each WITH HEADLINE
    Full size is one full page, NOT one full SHEET; it's an INSIDE half-sheet page with NO HEADLINE

     

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