Personalized Committed Relationship Certificates

Every couple of years some “service” comes along which offers to sell you an acre of the Moon, or to name a star after your girlfriend—whatever. These companies promise to record your “purchase” with some prestigious-sounding organization somewhere. We’ve seen the prices range from about $75 to over $500. We always wondered why folks fell for this, because there is not, and won’t be in your or our lifetimes, any agency which has exclusive or meaningful control over who names what after whom on the bottom of the ocean. Ten companies can charge to name the same star after ten different people—and none of it is “real”. So we thought, what the heck; all these people are really getting for their $75-$500 is a cheesy certificate which isn’t enforced or even recognized by any “real” agency anywhere. We decided to bypass the B.S. and offer a much nicer certificate, with a wider range of choices, for $16.95. This “Deed” isn’t recorded in any official office. And if you ever travel to the bottom of the Mariana Trench (unlikely) you will NOT have the authority to kick some party-hardy sea-slug off “your” property. This is a gag gift, a novelty, a stocking-stuffer—every bit as “genuine” as the one your cousin back in New Jersey bought for $250.

All the World’s Great Fortunes
are Based on Real Estate

Begin Amassing Your Own Fortune

One Square Inch of the Ocean Floor
(with rights to heavy-metal deposits)

Item Number — FC-39

Reverse-printed on “backlight film”.

The outer finish is more glossy than glass, and just about indestructible. May be framed, or may be backlit for a truly special effect. Lower left features a pressure-embossed gold seal.

Extremely glossy, mirror-like finish

Backlight for a truly spectacular effect

We accept MasterCard and VISA, etc..
FC-39, “One Square Inch of Land” generally ships within 1-2 days. 

$16.95 (one certificate)

Item Number — FC-39